Can Adoption Tear A Family Apart?

Growing up I think every young child had to do a family tree for one of their elementary school projects. Whenever that time comes we try to go to that one family member that we feel really knows the family history from beginning to the end.

But when it comes time to start drawing that tree we never know exactly how many branches we need cause in most families there are some hidden undercover secrets that most families don't want to come to light. I once heard an elderly family member say just let old dogs lay why bring those dogs to the light. When you hear that it makes your mind start wondering all over the place.

When those hidden secrets happen to come to light could it be about our family members that have been adopted by other members of the family?

When we have these adopted members in the family do we still treat them like they are apart of the family? Or do we just look at them as an outsider? Or are we outsiders to them?

When a person is adopted at any age it can be a situation where they will never really know why their birth parent actually gave them away. Are they thinking is there something I could have done better to be with my birth parents? Well of course they are thinking that cause no child wants to be without an parent, but like the old saying goes your parents knows best.

So now that these branches are getting connected to the tree and there are so many questions that go with each branch, as the questions come are the right answers being told?

When you found out that your brother or sister who you grew up with was adopted by an aunt or uncle does that start to question your relationship with them? I feel like it shouldn't just because in God's eyes we are all his children and I am sure in that parent eyes you are their children as well no matter the circumstances.

So when this tree is blooming into that big beautiful oak tree you start to wonder did you miss anybody, did you name all the generations of sisters,brothers and cousins.

If that one person was missing how would they feel? If something on the tree was worded incorrectly how would that affect the family or that person? If that one,two or maybe even third adoption happen and it was never told how would that affect the person and most of all how would it affect the family? If these things were to happen should that person forgive and forget? Or should there heart just stay filled with emptiness?

Whether a person is adopted or not a family should stick together through thick and thin. The thick can be when their is a death, a birth or even just through things that happen in the world today. The thin can be the very very small things that you may need to use a microscope for.

Anything can tear a family apart but as a family, things should not be able to break or tear that bond that your ancestors of the family created. If the bond was built with secrets or even built with adoptions it should still bring the family together as one.

So as that tree is finished and it is standing there on that long piece of paper you just stand there and look and say I Love My Family no matter the secrets and circumstances I have a beautiful family...

What is Your Addiction?

Food, Illicit Drugs, Sex, Love, Shopping, Prescription Drugs, Gambling and many others can be a lot of people's addiction. When you think of the word addiction do you think of death? Do you think this can’t be me?

Addiction is defined as a psychological/physical component; that a person is unable to control the aspects of the addiction without help because of the mental or physical conditions involved. Most people with an addiction do not have a control over what they are doing, taking or even using. When it comes to Food, Shopping or even Gambling they are considered to be Behavioral Addiction.

The addiction can get to point where it can be very harmful, when a person is addicted to something they have no control over how they are using their addiction, and it can become part of their daily life. There are so many types of addiction that most people don't even realize they have or even experiencing.

Is there a way that all these addictions can be controlled or even monitored? Can your gambling addiction put you in extreme debt?

Just eating burgers, fries, cupcakes and any other food substance make your overweight? Could shopping at Neiman's, Bloomingdale's or any other expensive retail location make you a shop alcoholic?

Are these some questions we asked ourselves even if we think we don't have an addiction?

Most people that have an addiction problem are afraid or even embarrassed to admit that they have a problem. But what they don't know is that admitting that you have a problem is the first step to recovery for a person that is experiencing any type of addiction. People that have addiction can be saved by their friends, family members or even co- workers that can and should reach out a hand and help them fight their addiction.

Fighting an addiction can be very hard, but having the chance to experience life can be very outstanding and even a blessing,  A blessing that not many people can say they were given  a chance to do.

Whitney Houston...... Legend, Mother, Icon

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 On Saturday night while we all were going about out daily activities we came across some breaking news flash across our TV screens. The great Whitney Houston has died at the age 48. At first we believe that this was a bad, sick joke and we didn't want to believe it. Unfortunately we were wrong sources came in and said that this sick bad joke was very true. Sources told us that Whitney Houston was found in her hotel room in the bathtub; Ms. Houston was getting ready to attend the incredible but talented Clive Davis Grammy party that he has every year. This party is always the talk among music industry, if you wasn’t invited then you probably wasn't the "it" factory.

With some many stories racing across the internet and our local TV stations we will not really know what killed the icon, but we do know is that she will be truly missed by her family, friends and fans. When the commentaries asked fans and artists what they remembered about Ms. Houston I believe that they were astonished that they remembered the positive about her and not the negative. Even through all of Whitney's trails and many tribulations she will always be remembered for her style, charm, beautiful big smile and most importantly her wonderful instrument which was her voice.

Many fans like myself are so sadden by her death because we feel like we lost a sister. Many of our parents grew up on many of Whitney's classics and to be honest some of us probably were made off one of those classics. It troubles me when I hear people say that it wasn't a surprise that she died they seen it coming cause she was already on drugs. I strongly believe that a person can change and when they do people still want to seek for the negative instead of letting the positive outshine.

Sometimes it can be a real big struggle when you have a angel sitting on one side of your shoulder and then you have devil sitting on the other. It is like the world and your conscious wants you to go with the devil just so they can have something to report.  They are always willing to see you fail. But it is up to you to be strong and have the courage to defeat the devil and your conscious.  Just follow that angel on the other shoulder and your heart.

What really was Whitney's Houston Addiction? Was it the drugs? Was it that little devil sitting on her shoulder? Did the Fame become too much?

Of course outsiders and the media may have the answers to these questions but the only person who truly knows , would be the late Whitney Houston and God. Let us just remember that she was a Mother and that she is Human and yes she can make mistakes throughout her life but change is always a good thing.

So as we remember Whitney Houston let her positive outshine her negative. Let us remember that she was truly a Icon, Mother and a Legend with a voice that would and still brings chills to our bodies.

What is Love????

Many people believe that love is a sensation that magically generates when Mr.or Mrs. Right appears. No wonder so many people are single.

Is Love that feeling you get when you meet the right person? Can you fall out of love in just a matter of days or even weeks?

Some say that Love is a Choice and it can be very active. You can create it by just focusing on the good in a person; if you can do that easily then you can love easily. If you focus on the good can you love almost anyone?
Can you love someone you just met?

I read this article in Elle magazine where a lady has been happily married for 25years .She stated that "A relationship has it ups and downs, the downs can be really low and when you are in a relationship you have three choices: Leave, Stay in a loveless marriage, or choose to love your spouse."

So what is love? Real, lasting love?
Is Love Just A Behavior? 
Is Love Just A Four Letter Word?
Can you Love like a Love Song?

I believe that loving someone comes with time and commiment, love is a feeling that no one can take from you and it can last for years, months or even weeks. You just have to make sure that the love never dies and fades away. 

Don't just think that love is only in a marraige it can be in relationship with your parents, friends, children and etc.

Let's just spread LOVE everywhere and let's embrace it.

The Style In Him....

Is it a crime for you to want your perfect guy to have that perfect style that compliments yours? When we are looking for the perfect guy, we want them to have so many qualities like the ones we see in our favorite love movies. We want that guy to be loving, respectful and also charming. As for myself I would like my perfect guy to have all of those qualities but also have some sense of style.

We need more guys that are confident enough to wear a pair of skinny jeans and a cute vintage plaid shirt. We need more guys that we can go to the mall with and he doesn’t rush you to hurry up and decide what shoes, shirt or even bag you are going to buy.  Wouldn’t it be nice to have a guy who is able and willing to go with you and just shop until he drops?

The Style in him doesn’t define him as a male; it just shows that he has a passion for fashion.   According to the New York Times they reported that in 1985 only 25% of all men's apparel was brought by males, 75% was brought by women for men, in 1998 men were buying 52% apparel and then in the year 2004 it grew to 69% and since then it has not declined.   Men are aware of fashion, and they are not afraid show it.   The style in him will remain with him for years and years to come.

Could the style in him be overpowering?   Could the style in him question his sexuality?   Could you just be in love with him just for the style in him?  Could the style in him make you guys the power couple?

IS IT RIGHT???????

Is it right to be judgmental? Is it right to be a socialite? Is it right to be stereotypical? Is it right to have a religion?

Is it right to wear those Marc Jacob flats with that cute Prada pencil skirt? Is it right for Oprah to be Blue Ivy Carter Godmother? Lol...

Is it right for President Obama to pick up the slack from President Bush? Is it right to be with the same sex?

Is it right to vote? Is it right to be a racist?

Is it right to have natural hair? Is it right to kill?

Is it right to protest for what you believe in? Is it right to be unique?


 Is it right to just celebrate Black History only in the month of February?

These are just a few questions we ask ourselves daily, these are questions that we will never probably know the real answers too.

Why is that? Could it be because America is always trying to bring people down, that they treat us like push pin dolls and they keep sticking us every chance they get?